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realizing how my friends are usually talking to their partners on the phone around this time kinda reminded how i'd love to yak on the phone for a long long time. say 2 hrs at least. talking abt everything, gossiping, laughin at nothing. the longest time i yakked for was 5 whole hours, from midnight till morning, going to bed for barely an hour before waking up for school. funny, how i must have squandered that friendship away thru that single phonecall, for we no longer seem to talk. okay, take that situation and multiply it for say 5 times. or was it more? hmms. so many people i used to talk to and not talk to now. haven had a plain phone marathon for a long time, not counting the time when the 4 of us were discussing our tioman trip. thats not really a phone call. that was a conference. and it was more like a discussion. and there were times i didnt even feel like talking. and now i seem to understand why i haven been yaking too much on the phone. that's cus i dont really like the silence we;re all entitled to for most phone convos. the silence thats intimidating, that seems to represent the space and distance between me and that person. hinting that we have no more common topics. hinting that we dont know seem to know each other that well to talk to each other you'll tell me, it happens all the time but i just dont seem to like it so the only way is not to yak on the phone. anyway, the bottom line is: i haven got anyone to yak to. and i got a lesson on childbirth today. im sucha sua ku la! for not having taking bio. yucks. im currently not thinkin of having kids anymore. gosh. i am seriously traumatized. pls god, i pray, that the colleague who's lying unconscious in the hospital, will wake up soon and not have complications. pls, show me that not all good people die early. i peeked at the world thru mie lil eyes 8:37 AM
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